Doubt and the Grace of God

         During these past few months, I began to really critically examine my faith in Christianity. With a love of apologetics, I have always taken the position (many times with little humility) that Christianity is far superior to any other idea about the reality of life. When I came in contact with many ideas that challenged my faith at the very core, I began to have some serious doubts about the validity of Christianity.

        My walk through this time of doubt was like walking in a desert. There was seemingly no joy to be found in life. My doubts led me to really ponder the nature of faith itself. While I never really stopped believing in Jesus Christ, I came the closest I have ever come in my entire walk of faith.

        I had to come to a decision about my doubts. At the fundamental core, my doubt stemmed from my trust of my reason above my trust of my God and Savior. Either Jesus was really God in the flesh, who died for my sins, and rose again on the third day, or life is really meaningless: there exists no such thing as universal objective moral values or purpose. At that level, I could never deny the resurrection of Christ unless there was proof that it did not happen (1 Cor. 15:12-19).

        Apart from Christianity, I do not believe that there is a belief system in this world which can explain the reality of life with such incredible explainitory power: the nature of man, the beginning of the universe, the evil in the world, the moral law, and the meaning of life (just to name a few). There is so much evidence for the existance of God: the textual evidence for the entire New Testament is far greater than any other work of antiquity with over 2,000 different manuscripts, the cause of the universe as God seems to be the most logical explanation, the drive of the soul to seek that which is beyond (transcendent) aka God, the moral law found in humanity, and the workings of God in my life and the lives of others.

         In the end, I can say that this time of doubt has brought a new passion and life that had once been forgotten. Just like the church at Ephesus, I had forgotten my first love (Rev. 2:1-7). I now consider it pure joy that by the grace of God I was carried through this time of a crisis of faith. I can only praise Him again and again for being faithful when I was unfaithful  (1 Cor. 1:8-9).

        My prayer for anyone reading this is that they would realize that many of us go through periods of doubt. You are not alone! I pray that God will reveal more of Himself that you have ever seen! If there are doubts in your mind, go ahead and pray and cry out to God! God is faithful, and He will pull you through any doubt that you are going through. Keep fighting for joy! There is really no other joy in life that burns in the hearts then that which comes from God (Luke 24:32)!

God bless!
Tyler